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I am on the edge in so many ways right now.
It is terrifying. That is true. But not taking the leap is the far more terrifying prospect. But I can’t take the leap by myself, at least I don’t think so.
I’ve been at this place before. And that time I had a full mental breakdown.
And in that way I think I failed to take the leap, instead I broke down.
But the next time it happened, perhaps … I’m just playing with idea’s here … that time I did leap, and that was when I made the decision that I would be a father.
I already had a child; I made the decision that being a father to my daughter would be the absolute number one priority in my life and that nothing else really matters. And I rebuilt who I was, entirely, in that moment from that base of “father”.
That first time though. My eyes were opened up at that time, just before the breakdown, to a world of pure wonder and possibility. I had psychic powers too. I know that sounds crazy to say. I’m not crazy. Not in this context. But I did have the ability to read minds at that time. It actually isn’t that hard. I think we actually probably mostly all can do it, and do do it quite a bit, but because we don’t live in that place, and instead have all of the human narratives on top of our actual experience; well, because telepathy doesn’t exist inside…
